Ro's Book
The Third Year
As I prepare to celebrate my third father's day with you, it now adds much more meaning to The Dad's Day 5k. This will be my 8th year running this event. The first five years, I was very envious of the many men who came and made memories with their children. As long as there is breath in my body, this is an event you will experience each year of your life. I would hope you continue to celebrate it after I am gone. I will be hard pressed not getting emotionally and shedding a tear at some point during the event. It will be very hard for me as you and I complete the 1k together. Crossing a finish line with you while everyone cheers will fill me with emotions. The whole world should cheer the Father/child relationship. Anyway as I write this you have fallen asleep on the floor beside my desk. You seldom stray far from me. Life is good and special because you are my son and as always and forever I love you! (Entry of June 11, 2004)
Your development is incredible right now. All the things you have been processing in your brain the first two years are now starting to make sense and each day some new discovery is made. You can say the words shoes, ice, thank you, please and most important of all you can now say E-I-E-I-O when I sing Old MacDonald. How many thousands of times did I have to sing that song to you? I think thousands. Son, parrots could have learned this before you. But you are a genius! More brilliant than any child on planet earth. At least that I know of. It has been kind of interesting because it is your mother that teaches you. I just hang and play with you. I think you will be better for it. And the greatest thing going now is that you have now learned to pull the gallon jug of milk out of the refrigerator (No matter how full it is) walk right by me and grandly place the jug on your mother's lap. Last night when you took it to mom while she was in bed and again walked right by me, the look on your mother's face as she walked by me to the kitchen to wait on you had probably more value to me than a winning lottery ticket! Your smile is my smile! I love you my son. (Entry of July 11, 2004)
Each time I sit to write your journal, I always feel compelled to write some grand truth that may help you in your life. The real truth is that my truths may not fit you. They may, but ultimately it will be your choice as to what is true for you. So, the one thing I want to do is reinforce the deep abiding love I have for you. To see you open your eyes in the morning and we cuddle while you have your wake up moo juices and daddy reads the paper. To toss you in the air and sing songs and count to ten and do the alphabet and chase you around the house, those are the important things. Always remember that it is not what you do in life but loving what you do and those you do it with. Daddy has a piece of paper on his wall that says. Do what you want and want what you do. Life is all too short and it is the cuddling and the chasing that is most important. My life is fulfilled mostly when I see you look at me, you smile, you stick your hand in mine and your blue eyes say, I Love you Daddy. I love you too, son. Thanks for coming into my life! (Entry of August 20, 2004)
Ah the terrible twos! They are not as terrible as other have described them, but you do have your moments. You see something, you want something, you cry for a half hour without stop hoping I will change my mind. Thank goodness this only happens a few times a month. Sometimes, because you cannot talk to me yet, I am not even certain what exactly it is you want. There is something up in the cupboard, that you believe is there and you want it. I pull everything out which you immediately reject and continue crying. Now I just take a shortcut. I say no and let spill your emotions. But this is all dwarfed by the times you sit on my lap drawing on a piece of paper (sometimes your leg and mine). The best times are when I swing you around and throw you up in the air. Always remember it is not really what you do with those you love, just be there and do whatever develops and your life will be richer for it. Just you and I sitting on the couch together watching Barney or Sesame Street is the best. I already embarrass the daylights out of you as you hide your face everytime I sing along with Barney or Big Bird. Yet there is always the biggest smile on your face. I haven't forced you into my world and I have come into yours. As the song goes, If you are happy and you know it clap your hands. If you are happy and you know it, clap your hands. If you are happy and you know it, your face will surely show it. If you are happy and you know it clap your hands!!!E-I-E-I-O. I Love you. (Enrty of September 17, 2004)
I heard a wise man say this week that we learn very little about ourselves from our parents and everything from our children. You are teaching me to live in the moment. Even though you may get upset at something. in five minutes you are laughing and playing as though that moment never existed. You are now on accelerated growth! New words and new actions come daily. You had your first time out. When daddy was your age, we just had spankings. Now they have government agencies that discourage that sort of thing. I am not certain a spanking ever really shaped me in any way, so no spankings for you. Two minutes in time out worked wonders. I must be careful now as I must use it very sparingly and when I really need it so it remains an effective way of getting your attention. You now are singing with me when I sing songs to you and you are so cute! Barney is now your favorite show, but you watch very little TV. The holidays are around the corner. We are going to have a grand time! (Entry of October 19, 2004)
It is always easy to say what you would do if you had a kid. I remember before you were born, I said things like, I don't want my child raised in front of a TV. I will not put up with temper tantrums. My child will know who the boss is. Well, I thought it would be a fun idea to buy you a Barney tape and guess what Barney now rules our universe and quite honestly I am happy to have him. If I let you you would watch Barney tapes 12 hours a day. So being a good parent I keep it down to a couple of hours. All the things I told others I would never allow my children to do, not only do you do all those things, but I am probably worse than any other parent. You now love being in our cars. You think it is a most exciting place to be. The only problem is that when we go somewhere, you don't want to get out and scream at the top of your lungs when we drag you out. Of course, you don't understand that Mommy and Daddy would get a visit from Child Protective Services if we left you in the car. Do you even have the slightest interest in our problems? Nooooo! This week Mommy had to call me from Target to come get you. You would not stop screaming bloody murder. Needless to say, your sainted Mom was totally freaked out and may never want to take you with her for another year or two or if Daddy is with you both. Ah but life is still good. Next week daddy begins building a Christmas wonderland at our house! I can hardly wait! (Entry of November 16, 2004)
I am just going to paste in our family Crhistmas letter for this entry. It pretty much says it all for me.
Seasons Greetings! We hope that 2004 treated you well. It is at this time of year, as the days are shortened and the temperatures are cooler, that we contemplate what life has given us and give praises and celebrate life with our family and friends. We pray that peace and happiness dwells in your household.
We have been truly blessed this year as our dear son Ro enters his third year. It has been said that we seldom learn much about ourselves through our parents. It is through the deep love one has for their child, that our hearts open to become a better person. Melony and I rejoice in the true spirit of Christmas, because our child holds our hands and leads the way.
For Ro Christmas is mostly about the lights. About 100 times daily, we hear the words, "Lights, lights, lights" or while pointing at the lights, "on…off". Our Christmas gift this year is the sparkle in Ro's eyes as his focus is being with Mom and Dad and sitting together and looking at the lights. It isn't about presents, or Santa Claus or those other "things" of Christmas. It is about playing catch. It's about chasing him around the house. It's about grabbing his arms and swinging him around. It's about him constantly pulling out the gallon milk jug and dragging it about the house to get us to fill up his cup. It is the way he says "Mmmm" when food is on the table. It is about "pop, pop" which translated means we must hold his hands while he jumps on my big exercise ball and we must sing Pop goes the Weasel to him. It is singing Old MacDonald and laughing together. It is huddling together in his little Winnie the Pooh tent or just under a comforter together. It is the way he helps Mommy cook. It is the simple everyday things of life that we many times forget about because our jobs or the other things of life become more important. So although lots of things happened to Mommy and Daddy at work this year, they are just not that important.
Many years ago a "Daddy" sent his only son to earth to give us hope peace and joy. If the love he felt for his son was but a tenth of the love we feel for Ro, we understand what a great sacrifice he made.
We pray that your home feels that love and joy this year.
With Love,
Lewis, Melony & Ro (Entry of December 5, 2004)
I had hopes and dreams for many Christmas events this year. But for you, Christmas was the pretty lights and each day you looked forward to the time we would turn on all the lights or turn them off. Then on Christmas eve day, your grandmother and my mother passed away. Daddy had talked to her on the phone just hours before. Even though she was 84, it still seemed so sudden. But life is fragile that way. I try now to savor every moment I have with you. Your Aunt Linda, Cousin Davee, and Cousin Bella and you, Mommy and Daddy loaded into a van and drove to Motana and back 30 haours each way. What a Christmas. But you did get a white Christmas with driving snow and 10 degree weather. Hopefully it will be our last. You got to spend time with all your other cousins. You were a good boy and gave us little trouble except for when Daddy left your bottle over at Cousin Wendy's house and we were at another. You were not willing to drink out of anything else before going to bed and threw quite a tantrum. I guess you needed to show my family just how much you were in charge. Not what I expected to do for Christmas, but I was with you and Mommy in close quarters a lot and that was good. On to 2005. I love you my son. (Entry of January 6, 2005)
This was a memorable winter as you, daddy and mommy were very sick most of the time. There were colds, coughing, flu, temperatures, and lots of visits to the doctor. This my son is why you will probably grow up hearing me constantly complain about winter. I do not like cold and would like to move further south between December and February. And we live in an area that is not even that cold! You are now talking a lot. Each day is a new adventure with some new word being used. You have this unusual fascination for lights. You love turning lights off and on, off and on. You can sometimes do it for 10-15 minutes at a time. As I watch you, I think the fascination comes from the fact that you feel you have some god-like power. You can pull a string or flip a switch and you suddenly have magical powers to create light. And you proudly turn to me and say over and over - "lights on" Lights off". And of course I must always aknowledge that you have accomplished magic by saying pretty lights or somesuch. You really never had what many people call the terrible twos. You have been a very good boy this year and it is always a pleasure to be with you. I love you my son. (Entry of February 16, 2005)
I think this is the longest I have gone without writing to you. This has been probably one of the toughest times for your Daddy. Not only did I have three big and successful events to stage, but Daddy lost his best friend. My friend and brother of 30 years was shot in downtown Tyler. They say he was hero and saved many lives. All it meant to me was I lost a part of the fabric of my life. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss him. So between the work and the tragedy you have mostly had to be my "working" buddy this month. You really enjoy helping me in all my projects. I hope you stay that way. I can use your help when you get older. Your vacabulary is now growing each day. But no matter what new words you learn, my favorite is "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" Yesterday you looked up at me in my office and quietly said to me, "Thank you Daddy." Worth all the money in the world son. You are still the center of my universe and I love you more every day. (Entry of April 14, 2005)
Well, tomorrow begins a new chapter in our life together as we celebrate your third birthday today. Time has moved slow, thankfully these first three years. It has allowed me to enjoy the real things of your life. I have not had to focus on what you do, but the kind of person you are and watch you develop. How many fathers get the chance to sit in the back yard with their son and just watch with a garden hose watering the plants and filling up your swimming pool. We sat in silence for over 30 minutes as you got into the magic of water pouring out of a hose and you had the power of where that water went. We get to go for walks around the block and you get to point out to me every object that you know the word for. We get to sit together in my office and just play silly games with one another that have no rules or reason other than it makes us laugh. Every day we have laughed together. You have enriched my life, because it is what we are doing right now that matters. Not yesterday or tomorrow, but can we get the vacuum cleaner out and vacuum. And yes you are passionate about the vacuum. It is a word you say about 50 times a day and could easily vacuum the house five times a day and it would not be enough. When you go to gradma's and Aunt Gewn's house you must vacuum there also. My perfect little angel boy. You live your life with joy, happiness and humour. Thank you for taking me with you. Happy third birthday and here's to many more. I love you, Daddy. (Entry of May 17, 2005)