Untitled Document

First Trimester - Second Trimester

February 18, 2002:
Three months to go. You know I have been so caught up in preparation for the arrival of my son, it just hit me this week. The day of birth is not too far away. At this point labor is just some mythical event that will happen some day. In 17 years of marriage, Melony and I have been blessed with great health. No trips to emergency rooms. No great health scares. It has suddenly dawned on me that soon my wife will be saying those famous three words...GIVE ME DRUGS. Now you should know one thing about me I am not one to count upon when there is pain and yelling going on. Most men look forward to the day of the birth of their child. I like all things leading up to it. (I may change my mind on that statement when I am whipped by classes) I will love all things afterward. I am a man that wants to return to the days of my father when the labor starts. I will be out in the waiting room. Let me know when he gets here! Nearly every woman now reading this is saying to themselves, "Please, at least you are not suffering the birth pains! What a coward!" To which I reply, "Yes I am!"

February 25, 2002:
I got a break! My wonderful sister has taken over the decoration of the baby room! It is her gift to us. I did not lift one paint brush or participate in any way. I have also abdicated my right to criticize the room in any way. It actually is kind of cute. So another hurdle to babydom is done. He has a well decorated baby room. Jeez, is everything surrounding him going to be this complicated! Next week you will hear about this weeks' sonogram and then classes start!

March 4, 2002:
Let's talk Bobble-head dolls. Now before I tell why I want to talk about this subject let's digress first. I have always considered myself to be something other than a manly man. No hunting or fishing for me. No mechanical ability whatsoever. I don't really care for football unless I am on a football pot and it is a Cowboy game. Most of my very best friends over the year's have been women. So what is my point? I do believe that my testosterone levels have risen significantly since I have discovered that I am going to have a boy. As the women in his life have begun to prepare the physical world around him, I now feel the need to include my scent into his surroundings. I am feeling I need to soften all the feminine influence to balance it out with the male. So last Saturday I got free tickets to go see a Maverick-Sacramento basketball game. Normally I wouldn't have gone as they were nosebleed seats. But the Mavericks had just completed a major trade with Denver and this would be the first game the new players would appear. Plus that night the first 5000 people in the arena would receive a Tim Hardaway bobble-head doll. He was one of the guys just traded to Denver. What a manly symbol of life. It was a manly experience. I saw so many fathers spending time with their children. I want to do that! The Tim Hardaway bobbled-head doll now sits on his dresser nestled between all the soft cuddly things given by the women awaiting the arrival of my son.

March 11, 2002:
Well, I should have no shortage of material for the next few weeks as I have started Baby classes. I will state right off the bat. I consider this to be a whipping! Right off the bat this sweet wonderful nurse leading the class asked everyone there to state their name, their due date and what they wanted to get out of the class. Trust me, no man in any class wants to do this. I laughed because you could see every husband saying to themselves, "I cannot believe we have to do this!" But they will incur the wrath of the pregnant wife if they say something stupid. I however did not have that fear. They came to me last and I said I was here because I planned on getting golden material for my father's journal. Now what happen after that I cannot really put into words here, because people of all ages will be reading this. All I know was that I was told and described things about having a baby that my father, his father and his father never had to hear! I am not even sure my mother had to hear these things. The beauty of having a baby was definitely clouded. I found out more than I ever wanted to know about water breaking, birth canals and other similar subjects. I did not need to know this! Just wheel me in the room and I will stand by my wife.
We also got another sonogram of the baby this week. He is now over 3 pounds. He yawned at us and he is getting hair. I can tell already he is as good looking as his dad.
Next week class two. Can it get worse?

March 18, 2002:
Well, it wasn't that bad at baby class. However, I had a busy work week and I was very tired at the class. So I briefly fell asleep. If I had any complaints, the class is long and it is boring. I have three more to go. This week I guess I will take a nap the day of. I have the greatest wife however. She has not given me one minute of grief about my lack of interest. I am waiting for the videos that I will not look at. Maybe this week.
Junior is getting more and more active. Mom always wants me to look at her moving stomach. Of course every time I look or place my hand on her stomach, he instantly stops moving. I guess he just relaxes when the gentle spirit of his dad comes near. After he is born, I can only hope that he continues this calmness in my presence. Just two months to go!
Soon the baby showers!

March 25, 2002:
Man, the excitement just grows inside every day that passes by! This kid already makes me happy and I haven't even met him yet. My goal is to maintain this joy even after he is born. Actually having and raising a kid is just tad different than my little daydreams. Reality and the pure force of the child will be blowing the winds, not I. What a ride this will be! I have never spent serious time with a child in my life! I think though becoming a father may be the most important thing I will ever do in this life. Later.

April 1, 2002:
These baby classes are definitely a leveling force to compensate for the woman doing all the suffering during pregnancy. I think the underlying philosophy is we suffer, you suffer! They showed the VIDEO of actual child birth this past week. I had the good sense to leave the room and stand down the hall. About 15 minutes later as the actual birth took place, I heard a huge roar and lots of nervous laughter and one one Father to be running out of the room. He confirmed this was something I did not have to see. Just when I thought I was past that hurdle then we took a tour of an actual delivery room. The pain continued. The first thing the instructor pulled out was this huge mirror on wheels just to give us a better view. Did she not understand I was not up for any kind of viewing? Then she proclaimed that once the child arrived that most husbands can sleep in the hospital room with their wife and baby. Why? Sleeping on a cot in a hospital is not on my agenda. I took much grief from all the mothers when I expressed my sane convictions in this matter. Next - Baby CPR classes and we have to find a pediatrician. How did having a child become this complicated?

April 6, 2002:
The gifts are here! As I write this in my office (which is in my house), the first baby shower is commencing outside my walls. As I sit here, I am noticing one thing. Women laugh a lot when men aren't around. I have seldom ever heard as much laughter when men are in the room. Do you suppose women just don't don't think we are very amusing? But there is nothing like the ritual of women gathering to celebrate the pregnancy of one of their own. Centuries of tradition is being played out in my home.
Well, as it is called, Birth Preparation Class has ended. Funny name! Is there any way to prepare. I figure after spending 15 hours over five weeks being totally whipped by these classes that child birth will be a welcome event. This week the teacher asked the husbands to step out in the hall while she discussed private matters with the women. God, I just wish she had done this every night! Later my wife just had to tell me what she had discussed. I couldn't stop her, even though I tried to tell her she didn't have to share with me.
I took my son to his first baseball game for opening day of the Rangers. My wife said he really got riled up the first half hour we were there. It is a sound he will hear a lot of in his lifetime. I now notice all the Dads that are there with their kids. I find myself staring at them a lot.
Five weeks to go!

April 15, 2002:
I am freezing! My kid has turned my wife into a furnace and now we must keep the temperature below 45 degrees at all times. This is a shock to me because until this pregnancy my wife was the good southern girl that had to be under a blanket if it got below 70. So I had gotten used to living in warm conditions. I find myself quickly turning off the AC once she leaves the house for work.
Maybe it is just me, but these last few weeks are really going slow. The anticipation is perhaps magnifying time and space. I know Melony is ready to remove this critter that is growing inside her. Of course all my friends with children keep saying to me that I should enjoy the quiet. It is soon to end. Why is it every time I talk to these friends they always seem anxious to share with me every story about how their kid destroyed their house or kept them up all night. When do I get the good and sweet stories?

April 29, 2002:
The day is drawing near. Quite honestly, I have tried to veer my attention elsewhere. I found myself being consumed with thoughts of my son. For now I will wait until he gets here. None of my projections probably have much to do with his reality anyway. The doctor says in two to three weeks. Since I work at home, I am looking forward to having company now. I will have Melony for two months and my baby for a few years before he goes off to pre school. It will seem more like a regular job now as I will have someone to socialize with at work. There are a lot of drawbacks to an eight to five job but being surrounded by people is something I miss.
I have already thought about my role in The Dad's Day 5k this year. I think I will delegate some of my race day duties in order to have some time with my son. As his date of arrival draws near, I realize that I am about to do the first worthwhile thing in my life.

May 6, 2002:
As the day draws near, I find myself really organizing and cleaning everything. I have realized that the chaos of having a child will require everything being in its place now so that will be one less issue later. I have completely redone my office so that my son will be able to be in the office and within reach while I am working. Next comes MY LIST. Being a man I did not need to have showers and thank you cards and invitations. However, since I have told everyone in my world many times about the birth, they are expecting calls, emails, and birth announcements once he's here. That means programming numbers into my cell phone so I can call people from the hospital. I must make sure I have mailing addresses on everyone. And then there will be thank you notes for those that send gifts. I have told my wife that my notes will say "Thank you very much for your gift. Sincerely, Lewis" Of course I told her this after she had just spent 6 hours doing her thank you cards (letters). She informed me that my way was not going to happen.
The commercialization of child birth is now complete. I have car seats for two cars, swings, bouncy-bounces, little beds and other repositories that are now placed in every room. Add in all the different ways that I will strap him in, I wonder if there will ever be any need to hold him. We will just move him from one do-dad to the next.
Maybe one more entry. No more then two. Stay tuned.

May 20, 2002:
Well, it was a wild ride! My son Roland Lee George arrived on Friday, May 17 at 5:25 PM. We will call him Ro. The story of his name to follow. The delivery was every bit as scary and difficult as my wife and I feared. Thank God for my wife. She was an angel. I am convinced that if it were up to men to have children, our species will soon be extinct. Without going into graphic detail, just let me say that the birthing process is more excruciating difficult than anyone could have ever described to me. The main payoff is that my son was the result. After this experience, my respect and love for my wife Melony is deeper than ever.
Now his name. Ro was named after his two beloved maternal great grandfathers. Roland "Tommy" Crane was my wife's favorite Grandfather. Unfortunately he passed before I met my wife. He is alive for me however, because of how the family always talks about him. When we announced that Melony was pregnant, I called his widow, Blanche with the great news. The first thing out of her mouth was that she wanted him to be named Roland. At the same time both Melony's mother and father made the same request. At that time I boldly stated that there was no way he was going to be named that. It was too old -fashioned a name. About a month later after we had shifted through the book of names, and had disagreed on every possible name, I went to my wife one day and said I wanted to name him Roland and call him Ro. She was rather shocked as I am not easily swayed from my opinions. It just felt like a blessed name for a blessed child. Immediately I felt the presence of her grandfather in our house. I believe his joy was beyond belief. I gave him a middle name of my Mom's Father, Lee Estell.
During his delivery we had the women of my wife's family gathered in the delivery room. It felt very tribal. My wife's sister, Gwen got on one side of her and me on the other as we coaxed her through the birth. At the same time my wife's mother and her grandmother, Blanche were sitting nearby. The miracle of this day was compounded by the fact that my mother-in-law had been in ICU for over a week with a serious kidney problem. She had literally some from checking out of the hospital to be with us. My father-in-law and the rest of the family waited outside.
Once his name was chosen, we told no one except my mother, who is far away and whose memory is fading enough, that we felt no one else would know. Everyone wanted to know, but we held our choice secret until Friday. When he was 30 minutes old, we gathered everyone in the room and my wife announced his name to the family. The look on Blanche's face will probably be one of the happiest moments of my life. At first it was one of disbelief and then she began to weep and sob and as a group we all began to cry deliriously with her. Ten grown people sobbing with joy over the arrival of Roland Lee George. Life does not get any better than this.
This ends my Father's Journal for Ro. I hope you have gotten some enjoyment from it and will come join in celebrating with me on June 15 at the Dad's Day 5k.

I love you Ro!

Ro's Book

My life's journey with the boy named Ro